With a publication date of 23^rd of March 1962, The Bukkake At The OK Coral is one of the oldest books in the Forgotten Book Organisations library.

It is the fifteenth western novel of Jack Spaffed’s long writing career and was published by Random Cock Publications.

SYNOPSIS

The author of Shot My Load, Jack Spaffed, delights us with a new thrilling tale of when the West was wild, and cock-sure cowboys were quick to pull their triggers!

In 1861, the western frontier town of Whitestains was as wild as they came. But the residents of the booming town were in the good hands of Sheriff Willy Milk.

Known for his frantic wrist action and unique ability to unload his hot pistol with deadly precision, Sheriff Willy Milk had the quickest shot ejaculation of any man in the West.

But when a mysterious and cutthroat gang called The Semen, known to shoot their load and ask questions later, enter town trying to sell pearl necklaces, Sheriff Milk knows he’s in for an explosive time.

Will the ruthless gang aim their loads at Willy, or will he be able to use his famous knuckle shuffle to knock a couple out before the gang can cock their guns?
One thing is for sure, things are about to get very messy.

Continue reading below for an exclusive extract from The Bukkake At The OK Coral.

Things were never quiet for long in Whitestains, thought Sheriff Milk as he made his way along the town’s main street.
“Howdy, Sheriff”, shouted John ‘Jonny’ Johns from across the street.
“Howdy, Jonny”, replied Sheriff Milk with a small wave.
“Howdy, Sheriff”, said Mary-Lou with her usual warm, beautiful smile.
“Howdy, Ma’am,” replied Milk, returning Mary-Lou’s warm smile. Where are you off this fine morning?”

Mary-Lou stifled a burb and, while pointing down the street, said, “I’m going over yonder to buy some beans from the beans store, and then I am going home to eat the beans. And then, when I have eaten the beans, I’ll put any left-over beans in my beans tin and keep them for when I next want to eat beans, which will probably be around 3 p.m. as I like beans around that time because beans are my favourite.”

Sheriff Milk found his eyes transfixed by Mary-Lou’s beauty, and as was so often the case when he met her, his mind drew a blank as to what to say to her. How he wished that he could tell her how he really felt about her.

He wished he could recite the poem he had written about her beauty and how her green eyes sparkled in the sunlight, like the brightest star in the night sky. Milk wanted to tell Mary-Lou that her hair was like the golden waves of a wild sea, and her soft, pale skin was purer than the fresh milk out of a cow’s teat.

“Yes, beans are lovely, aren’t they,” spluttered Milk.
“They most certainly are,” replied Mary-Lou passionately.
A moment of silence rose between the two, and Milk was pleased when Jonny interrupted them.

“Have you eaten any beans today, Sherrif?” asked Jonny.
“I sure have, ” replied Milk, patting his full stomach.
“Mary-Lou, have you had some beans this morning?” asked Jonny.
“Three tins full,” answered Mary-Lou as she also patted her stomach before stifling another burp.
The three fell briefly silent again before Sheriff Milk asked, “Have you had any beans today, Jonny?”
“Yes”, replied Jonny while he nodded and gently patted his stomach.

The trio then fell into another brief silence.

“They’re nice, aren’t they?” said Milk, “The beans.”

Mary-Lou and Jonny nodded enthusiastically while rubbing their stomachs, “Yes, very tasty”, said Mary-Lou.

At that moment, the town’s saloon owner, Bill ‘Billy’ Sanderson, turned the corner to where the trio stood.

“Morning Sheriff, Mary-Lou, Jonny!”

The trio said hello to Billy before Jonny asked, “Have you eaten some beans this morning?”
“Yes”, replied Billy while tapping his large, round belly.
“Aren’t they simply delicious!” exclaimed Mary-Lou.
“They sure are! Yee-Haw”, said Billy.

The group all smiled and fell into silence again. The four of them remained there, smiling but silent for a few minutes before Mary-Lou spotted something in the distance.
“What’s that over yonder?” she said while pointing.

The three men followed the end of her finger to see what looked like a group of men on horseback heading into town. The men were all dressed in black, and Sheriff Milk instantly felt his stomach turn. This wasn’t good, he thought.

“Ok, listen,” he said, “I’ve got a bad feeling about these cowboys, so everyone get back to your houses, lock the doors, and for God’s sake hide your beans!”

Jonny and Billy immediately scrambled away, but Mary-Lou grabbed Milk by the hands and looked deep into his eyes. Milk saw the fear briefly flash across Mary-Lou’s beautiful eyes—the eyes he had loved for all this time. Milk also saw the love in her eyes, the love she had for him.

It was at that moment that Milk realised that the feelings he had for Mary-Lou were reciprocated. She loved him, and he had never felt happier in that moment.
“You need to go now, Mary-Lou.”

A single tear formed in Mary-Lou’s left eye before she pushed her soft pink lips onto Milk’s. She let go of Milk’s hands, burped, and began to run home.