Napoleon Bonaparte’s 101 Least Favourite Meals was written by Queen guitarist Brian May in 1993, having spent much of the previous decade studying the French leader’s culinary habits to help move on from the commercial failure of their 1982 album Hot Space.

The book sold reasonably well and was surprisingly at the top of the Albanian non-fiction chart for three months.

BLURB

Napoleon Bonaparte’s 101 Least Favourite Meals is the culinary journey of one of history’s most notorious figures, told through the lens of British national treasure, part-time Rene Descartes impersonator and Queen guitarist Sir Brian May CBE.
Follow along as May dives into the depths of Napoleon’s picky palate, exploring the 101 meals that failed to meet his notoriously high standards.

From the soggy spaghetti of Rome, which he sampled in June 1806, to the bland Schnitzel of Hamburg he dined on in November 1810, nothing escaped Napoleon’s discerning taste buds.

But perhaps no dish elicited more disdain than a lasagne eaten in Florence while Napoleon was holidaying with Josephine in August 1811. Despite its reputation as a staple of Italian cuisine, Napoleon simply couldn’t stomach the layers of pasta and sauce.

With his astute knowledge of the culinary habits of European political leaders, May also discovers how sampling various exotic spices from the Far East at an Indian restaurant called the Biryani Junction situated near the Champs-Élysées in June 1812 led to Napoleon’s disastrous invasion of Russia.

So, join Brian May on this culinary adventure as we uncover the bizarre eating habits of one of history’s most fascinating figures, who will surely rock you. Who knows, you ‘may’* even find a few new items to add to your least favourite list.

*A pun on We Will Rock You by Queen
**A pun on Brian’s surname

Keep reading below for an exclusive extract from Napoleon Bonaparte’s 101 Least Favourite Meals.

On April 12th 1796, almost 180 years to the day we released You’re My Best Friend, Napoleon began his Italian campaign by defeating the Austrian army at the Battle of Montenotte in northern Italy.

‘You’re My Best Friend’ was the second single taken from the album ‘A Night At The Opera’ and reached number 7 in the UK singles chart. It rankled with me then that the song didn’t get higher in the charts, at least the top 5, but nowadays, I’m fine with it; I hardly think about it. In fact, I haven’t thought about it for almost three weeks.

Anyway, that same night, Napoleon ate his very first lasagna. Sadly, the ‘Le Petit Caporal’, as he was also known, instantly disliked the traditional Italian dish due to an unspecified issue with the choice of herbs used in its ingredients.

Napoleon also complained incessantly about the ricotta cheese, claiming that the eggs used to bind the cheese must have been made from “English Piss”. We’ll never truly know if Napoleon was justified in his complaints, just as we’ll never truly know how ‘You’re My Best Friend’ only reached number 16 in The US Billboard Charts.

I don’t want to go on about it, but not even making it to the top 10 is absolutely scandalous! Record World Magazine said in its review that it “stands to be every bit the enormous hit Bohemian Rhapsody was”. These are not my words, but the words of the fifth most popular (before it ceased publication in 1982), American music magazine of the ’60s and ’70s.

Anyway, I digress. But what really earned Napoleon’s wrath was the lasagna pasta. The French leader complained bitterly about its texture and accused the entire population of Italy of getting the consistency of the flour and the water completely wrong.

Accusing an entire nation of lousy taste seems incredibly harsh and possibly even arrogant. Still, it is possible that the entire country of Italy was wrong, much like the record-buying public of Belgium where ‘You’re My Best Friend’ reached the lowly chart position of number 23!! What the hell is wrong with the Belgian population? What were they doing in 1976? Number 23 for a song with an arrangement in the key of C Major and includes vocal AND guitar harmonies is nothing short of outrageous!

However, Belgium did go some way to make amends by making Radio Ga Ga number one in 1984.

The following day, at the Battle of Millesimo, it is said that Napoleon fought with the will of 100 men due to his awful meal the previous night. This is similar to our reaction to the poor chart placements of ‘You’re My Best Friend’. After such a disappointing result, we came back later in the year with ‘Somebody To Love,’ which reached number 2 in the UK and Belgium.

I don’t want to go on about it because I am fine and completely not bothered about the chart positions of ‘You’re My Best Friend’, but we shoved ‘Somebody To Love’ down everyone’s throats. They are a bunch of absolute wankers.

After a hard day of killing people, Napoleon settled down with his generals for an evening ham and pineapple pizza meal. After chewing his first slice for roughly 15 seconds, he spat it out, saying it tasted like ‘merde’, which is French for the word ‘shit’.

Two years later on July 21st 1797, 180 years after the release of the double A-Side single Fat Bottomed Girls and Bicycle Race, Napoleon scored a victory when he weakened Britain’s access to India at the Battle of the Pyramids. Later that same night, Napoleon sat down to eat a falafel but took an instant dislike to it due to his distaste for fava beans.

Records show that Napoleon was devastated by the lack of humous, which he could have used as a dip to cover the taste of the falafel. But this pales compared to the bad taste in our mouths when Fat Bottomed Girls/Bicycle Race peaked at a lowly number 11 in the UK singles charts and failed to even chart in Canada.