I Would Die 4 U by Prince Rogers Nelson was released in 1984 and was a turning point in his writing career.

Unfortunately for Nelson, it was a turning point into near oblivion. The reviews for I Would Die 4 U were so awful that it caused Nelson to have a massive crisis of confidence. He began to hit out at his publishers and agent and took to writing the word ‘slave’ on his face.

I Would Die 4 U was released as an eBook in 2016 and has since been downloaded less than 12 times but more than 11.

SYNOPSIS

From the author of ‘I Wanna Be Your Lover’ and ‘Do Me, Baby’ Prince Rogers Nelson comes a new uplifting tale of love and sacrifice, which one critic raved, “Is almost 200 pages long”.

Nikki works as a full-time nurse but, at the weekends, enjoys being a sex fiend. Holding down a full-time job and performing sexual acts with strangers has left her little time to find true love, but all that changes when she meets Toby.

Toby makes her stomach feel slightly queasy as if she has swallowed too much semen. But could it be that it’s not semen, but indeed love that she’s feeling?

After several dates, including a hilarious time stealing religious artefacts from a temple, Nikki falls deeply in love. Her love is so deep that she considers whether she should stop frequenting swinger’s clubs.

Toby then confides in Nikki that he is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, which seems a bit odd to her.

Can Nikki stay with Toby? Is this true love, or is it just a bit weird? Can she ever turn her back on the glory holes?

“I haven’t told you how stunning you look”, said Roger as he pressed his thumb against Nikki’s left nipple before making a honking noise as if it was a car horn.

Nikki felt a flame rise up in her stomach. The swinger’s club was full tonight, but she only had eyes for Roger, who looked so ravishing in the dim red light, despite the fact three of his front teeth were missing, and his low-hanging belly meant she could only see the very tip of his penis.

Nikki didn’t understand why she was attracted to men who didn’t take care of themselves or treated her disrespectfully.

Roger made several honking noises again as he alternated between Nikki’s nipples. Nikki let out a helpless moan as she felt her nipples become erect. Roger twisted her left nipple slightly, “I could get Radio 1 on these”, and let out a laugh.

Roger’s laugh continued for a while despite Nikiki not even raising a smile. She was too busy thinking of the brief, mindless pleasure that was to come.

Anticipation flew through Nikki’s veins like fireworks. Nikki had never felt this much excitement before. Well, not since she was last here a week ago. This was much more exciting than eating crisps, she thought. Hopefully, I won’t get as nervous as last week, she said to herself.

“I like crisps”, she nervously blurted out. Roger’s eyes narrowed slightly. She couldn’t be sure, but Nikki briefly thought Roger looked confused. Why did I mention crisps, she admonishingly told herself.

“Erm, yeah. So do I”, smiled Roger.
Maybe that hadn’t been such a bad thing to say after all, thought Nikki. “Tomato Ketchup”.
Roger’s eyes did that thing again where it looked like he was briefly confused, “Pardon?”

“It’s my favourite condiment,” replied Nikki, who was beginning to feel more relaxed.
“Yeah, it’s, erm, great with chips” replied Roger.

The pair of them fell silent as Nikki’s mind raced with thoughts on what to say next. “I’ve often wondered why ketchup is red, but I realise it’s because it’s made from tomatoes”.
Roger nodded, “Yeah. Can I see your arsehole?”

Nikki turned around and bent slightly to give Roger a better view, “I’ll sometimes have ketchup on things that most people wouldn’t dare”.
Roger nodded as he gently rubbed Nikki’s anus, “Erm… Really? Nice bumhole.”

“Thanks. I once put ketchup on a Sunday dinner, and everyone said I was mad, but I think you should just have whatever you like”, said Nikki as she turned back to face Roger.
“Oh, right,” Roger replied as his attention was pulled away from Nikki’s body for the first time.

Nikki glanced to see what had caught Roger’s attention, but she could only see a blank wall. Nikki suddenly felt uneasy. Maybe Roger was losing interest in her.

The flame inside her body was beginning to flicker, and without another moment of thought, she pointed at one of her nipples. “Maybe you can receive Radio 2 on this one if you jizz on it!”