The intense romance novel ‘Let’s Watch People Dogging’ was self-published by Claudia Drainage in 1999.

Having sold over 500 copies of her previous book ‘Piss On My Nipples’, Drainage was confident of a significant improvement on her next book. Unfortunately for Drainage, of the 1,000 copies printed, 997 still sit in a box gathering dust in her garage.

Let’s Watch People Dogging has been downloaded several times on Amazon but is still awaiting its first review.

BLURB

From the author of ‘Piss On My Nipples’, Claudia Drainage, comes a new heart-warming romance about two people searching for sexually arousing visual stimulation to masturbate over and the dangers that come from an escalating need to watch strangers who, more often than not, are very ugly or out of shape, bang one another.

From the first time they locked eyes on each other across a crowded room of naked, sweaty bodies at a swinger’s club in Blackpool, Terry and Beth had always enjoyed performing the five-knuckle shuffle on themselves while watching people shove their harpoons into salty tuna sandwiches.

From spit-roasts to bukkakes, Terry and Beth’s fondness for watching soulless acts of sex was the glue that made their relationship better than the rest, the warm sticky substance that kept their passion for one another alive.

But, like all relationships, the pair soon find that the monotony of watching strange men fire hot spaff onto a woman’s fleshy sponge cakes fails to bring them to a climax. Something needs to be done. Their love is too strong for it to wither and die due to having no wank material to blow their lumps to.

That’s when Beth hits upon the idea with the potential to change their world. Will watching strangers dogging in random fields on the outskirts of Blackpool save their love for each other, or will the constant need to view soulless acts of intercourse take them down a path of shallowness?

Keep reading below for an exclusive extract from Let’s Watch People Dogging.

Beth turned to Terry, her lips parting into a gentle smile. “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” she whispered lustily.

“Yeah, I know… Are you hungry?” asked Terry.
“Erm, no, not really”, replied Beth, whose wide eyes peered out into the darkness, waiting for the headlights of one of the cars opposite to flash.

Beth knew that the flashing headlights would mean that the shagging was ready to begin. She could feel the moment she had been waiting for growing ever nearer as she gently bit her bottom lip. She let out a long but almost silent moan.

“Do you want an egg sandwich?” asked Terry.
“What?” replied Beth.
“An egg sandwich”, said Terry as he shoved the snack under Beth’s nose.
“No, I don’t want that now. What are you doing?” Terri asked as her frustration grew.
“Scotch egg?” said Terry.
“No, I don’t… why have you brought food, Terry? We’re here to watch people fooking, not to have a picnic!” said Terri.

As Terry bit into his scotch egg, Terri glimpsed something in the distance. She could have sworn it was naked flesh, and she began to feel her body changing. She could feel her blood begin to pump harder through her body.

“Is that them?” asked Terri, who could feel her heart banging against her chest.
“I think this scotch egg might be out of date,” Terry said. “Have a whiff of that, Beth.”
Terry shoved the half-eaten scotch egg under Beth’s nose, filling her nostrils with a warm, eggy aroma.

Beth pushed the scotch egg away from her face and wound down the car window, partly to get the stench of the scotch egg out of her nostrils and also to see if she could hear anything. Slowly and rhythmically, she could hear the soft sound of a car rocking gently in the warm summer air. Then she heard a voice…

“Oof. Oof. Off. Fucking have that, you dirty cow. You fucking love it. Oof”
“They’re doing it, Terry,” said Beth, as her hand moved down her body in anticipation of what they were about to witness.
“Oh, Terry, I am so fucking horny”, moaned Beth.

“Yeah, this scotch egg is definitely out of date. Smells a bit like vomit!” replied Terry, seemingly oblivious to the eroticism developing around him.