Never Gonna Give You Up was an interstellar best-seller for Rick Astley in 1987, selling over 5,000 copies worldwide. The book’s publishers, Stock, Aitken & Waterman Publications, were one of the most successful in the UK for almost over a decade in the 1980s, with authors such as Jason Donovan and many others.

While Astley released more books over the next decade, none hit heights as heady as Never Gonna Give You Up.

SYNOPSIS

From the author of ‘Together Forever’, Rick Astley, comes a new intergalactic tale of loyalty, love, and horrific addiction to biscuits with ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’.

Captain Rose Sewer and Captain Ryan Gusset were no strangers to love. She knows the rules, and so does he, and when their spaceship crash lands on the distant planet Bumtruffle, their total commitment to each other is brought to the fore!

Their objective is clear: send a distress signal and sit tight until help arrives. But when Sewer is momentarily distracted by researching the nutritional value of the packet of Bourbon biscuits stored in the ship’s kitchen, Gusset hears what he believes to be the sound of voices outside, which seem to be quoting lyrics from the song La Bamba by Richie Valens.

Gusset soon stumbles across a strange species of alien and quickly realises that not only his life but also Sewer’s is under threat. The peculiar aliens also steal all the custard cream biscuits on board the ship, which annoys Gusset as custard creams are his favourite, and their best-before date is getting close!

Having eventually discovered that each bourbon biscuit contains only 0.7 grams of protein, Sewer notices Gusset’s disappearance and, worryingly, the missing custard creams. She bravely sets out on a rescue mission as the biscuits will soon be past their best-before-date.

Sewer will never give up on Gusset’s rescue or the biscuits, but will it be enough? Only time will tell in this interstellar thriller that will leave you on the edge of your seat and vowing never to waste a single custard cream again!

Read an exclusive extract of Never Gonna Give You Up below!

Captain Ryan dropped the box on the table in front of Captain Rose. It was an entire 100-gram box of custard cream biscuits, just for the two of them. Rose turned to Ryan, her eyes sparkling with affection. “You know, Ryan,” she said softly, “one of the things I like about you is our shared appreciation for custard cream biscuits.”

Captain Ryan chuckled as he ripped open the box and reached for a biscuit. “Yeah, they taste really nice.” He said thoughtfully.

A wistful smile danced across Rose’s lips as she nodded in agreement. Her right hand absentmindedly took two custard creams out of the box and placed them both into her mouth.

A comfortable silence filled the spaceship as they sat eating custard cream biscuits one after another.

Despite still chewing one in his mouth, Ryan leaned forward to take another biscuit, “I think we’ll soon be entering Omega 3 and the orbit of planet Bumtruffle.”
“Do you think we’ll be able to land there to stock up on water?” asked Rose as crumbs from the custard creams in her mouth flew out and fell onto her spacesuit.
“I’ll run a diagnostic test when we get nearer and see if it picks up any signs of water”, replied Ryan as his hand grabbed three custard creams and shovelled them into his gaping mouth.

“These custard creams taste so good,” exclaimed Ryan as he simultaneously shovelled two biscuits into his mouth.
“Yes”, replied Rose honestly as she also crammed two biscuits into her tiny mouth at the same time despite it making her choke slightly.

“We’ll have to take it easy with them, though, as we only have 247 boxes left”, said Ryan, spraying little crumbs of biscuits over the floor below.
Rose wanted to answer but could only nod as she placed another two biscuits into her mouth.

As they sat side by side, silently choking on custard creams, their hands brushed against each other as they simultaneously reached for a biscuit. They looked into each other’s eyes, and all four displayed a silent promise of support, unwavering companionship, and possibly even love, although both were trying to fight their feelings.

Ryan could see something else in Rose’s eyes. He could see a look of deep pain. He then remembered Rose hadn’t been able to pass a stool for three days. Biscuits always bunged her up, but her love of custard creams outweighed her need to take a shit.

In their hearts, they knew that as long as they had each other and biscuits, they could face any challenge, no matter how strange or extraordinary.

Ryan gestured to Rose for her to take the biscuit before him, “After you”, he spluttered as a plume of crumbs shot from his mouth onto Rose’s face. They both laughed before Rose gently wiped the crumbs off her face with her hand before licking them clean.