Written by the so-called King of Romance Novels, Len Chedders, Pull My Finger… Again was released in 2003 by Poignant Publications, one of the literary world’s oldest publishing companies.

The book did not enjoy as much success as was hoped but Len Chedders soon went on to greater success in later years with titles such as ‘Smack My Balls On Your Chin’ and ‘Tuesday Night Is Pegging Night’.

SYNOPSIS

Pull My Finger…Again is a thought-provoking love story that follows the journey of Maria, a successful and beautiful woman on a quest to find her soulmate.

Despite her many endearing qualities, Maria’s unique sense of humour has often hindered her search for love. Her love of flatulence and encouragement of it in her boyfriends has caused many of her past relationships to end in heartbreak and, occasionally, soiled underwear.

But Benny, the enigmatic toilet cleaner at her office, seems different from all the rest. His love of farting is only equalled by hearing Maria let rip every time he pulls her finger.

Their relationship is tested, however, when Maria’s love for fart-based humour leads to a series of ‘accidents’ that puts her new love at risk. As she struggles to keep their relationship intact, Maria is faced with an even more significant challenge when she discovers that she is beginning to suffer from trapped wind.

With each passing day, Maria’s love for Benny deepens, but so do her unmovable air biscuits. With her future and happiness on the line, Maria must confront her fears and navigate a complex web of suddenly being unable to laugh at her bottom burps.

The choices she makes will determine the course of her life and the fate of her relationship with Benny.

Will Benny pull her out of the depths she has found herself in, and if he does pull her up, will she make a fart sound like she always has whenever someone has pulled her finger.

Whatever happens, Maria must find a way to navigate the challenges of finding love and happiness with a smile on her face and a fart in her heart as well as her lower abdomen.

Pull My Finger… Again, is a thought-provoking and emotionally charged story that celebrates the resilience of the human spirit, the unbreakable bond of love and massive, loud farts.

Keep scrolling to read an exclusive extract From Pull My Finger… Again.

As Maria sat across from Susan in their favourite café, Café Café, her heart felt as heavy as an elephant that had eaten too much Indian curry after 9 pm. The two friends had been meeting here since their paths first crossed all those years ago.

As the pair sat in their usual spot, the spot they had turned to for solace so many times before, Susan could sense that something was very different about Maria, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

The late afternoon sunlight spilt a soft yellow hue through the window, like urine on white trousers, casting a warm glow over their conversation. Maria took a deep breath, her eyes filled with vulnerability and frustration.

“Susan, I need to talk to you about something,” Maria began, her voice shaking like a giraffe on a bike. “It’s about my love life or, should I say, lack of.”

Susan leaned in, her expression a mix of curiosity and concern, but mainly curiosity as gossip about other people’s lives helped fill the void of her own life. “What’s been going on, Maria? You know I’m here for you, and I will not tell everyone at work about it. Ever. Honest”

Maria’s fingers fidgeted with the rim of her coffee cup. “Well, it’s a little unconventional, but I like men to pull my finger before I fart”.
Susan paused and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Well, that’s not so bad. We’ve all got our little quirky senses of humour”.

Maria swallowed, “I don’t do it for a laugh or a joke”.
Susan shook her head as if to indicate she didn’t understand Maria’s point.
“I like them to do it because it makes me incredibly horny.”

Susan’s eyes widened in disbelief, a mixture of surprise and confusion clouding her face. “Wait, what? You get sexually aroused when you fart after a man pulls your finger? Maria, why?”

“I just think farting is so sexy,” whispered Maria, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, “But lots of men think it’s a bit weird”.
Susan sighed, shaking her head gently. “Maria, men love farting, but asking them to pull your finger so you can fart may be a step too far for lots of men.”

Maria’s eyes welled up with tears. “You think I’m being stupid, don’t you?
“No, Maria, I don’t think you’re stupid,” said Susan, who reached across the table, taking Maria’s trembling hand in hers. Susan honestly didn’t think Maria was stupid. Weird, yes, but not stupid.

Just the touch of Susan’s hand on her fingers was enough for Maria to let out a sly, quiet and short fart. Did this mean she was bisexual?

Before she had time to think about what this new emotion could mean, Maria caught the first whiff of aroma from the fart. Initially, the smell was almost imperceptible, but Maria knew instinctively that she had let out something quite deadly. A fart so silent and deadly that it had the potential to clear every person out of Café Café.

“I think we should leave”, blurted Maria as she reached for her bag.
Susan gently grabbed Maria’s hand to stop her from grabbing her bag. “No, Maria. I understand you’re embarrassed about this, but it’s okay. We need to talk about it.”
The act of Susan grabbing her hand released another fart from deep within Maria’s anus, this one more potent than the last.

Maria instantly knew that this fart was going to be truly awful. “No, we have to leave now!”

But as she spun around, Maria realised it was too late. Five feet away, she saw the handsome man she had noticed when they arrived look over the top of his newspaper and scrunch his face up in complete disgust.

In her panic, Maria grabbed her bag and shouted to the door, “Oh my god, Susan, that REALLY smells!” before running towards the door and fresh air.

As Maria opened the door, Susan caught an instant blast of fart gas in her nose and knew she would never be able to visit Café Café ever again.