Draw My Anus is a long-forgotten novel by Doris Heaves, one of the most prolific romance writers of the 1970s and 1980s.

Draw My Anus was first released in 1975 and, due to its success, is the first book in what became a ‘Draw’ trilogy with Redraw My Anus and Draw My Anus Again released the following month. 

SYNOPSIS   

Vicky’s divorce has affected her deeply, and in an effort to move on, she takes a holiday to the Greek island of Fallopian.

One warm night, she meets a handsome artist named Sebastian, and the pair soon hit it off when they discover a mutual love of baked beans.

Sebastian loves to draw the human form and one night takes Vicky to his studio to show her his life’s work, over four hundred hand-drawn images of people’s anuses.
Vicky isn’t sure whether to accept Sebastian’s request to draw her anus.

As crazy as it sounds, Vicky can feel herself falling in love with Sebastian, but is he only interested in her anus for artistic or sexual reasons?

Keep scrolling to read an exclusive extract from Draw My Anus.

 

Despite her standing roughly 10 feet away on the other side of the bedroom, Sebastian could smell the scotch egg on Vicky’s breath.

His knees buckled slightly underneath him. God, I hate the smell of scotch egg, he thought to himself.

“Are you going to pop your penis into my fanny?” whispered Vicky.

“Yes”, whispered Sebastian, “I can’t wait to see your fanny”.

Vicky bit her bottom lip. She could still smell ammonia, which, unless there were some decaying plants or animals somewhere nearby, was coming from Sebastian. But she didn’t care. Well, she did, and they would have to discuss it at some point, but now wasn’t the time. Despite the real possibility that the smell of ammonia was because Sebastian had wet himself, she yearned for nothing more than a lovely bit of sex.

“Did you eat a scotch egg earlier?” enquired Sebastian smoothly.

Vicky thought this an unusual question to ask during seduction, but whatever turned on Sebastian was okay with her, “Er… No. Erm, I had one for breakfast yesterday, though.”

Sebastian had suspected that Vicky didn’t rate oral hygiene as necessary, and this only proved his point. He felt his eyes sting slightly from the eggy scent that was drifting his way, but he didn’t care. Well, he did, and he would have to subtly bring up the importance of brushing and flossing your teeth at some point, but now was not the time. He loved nothing more than inserting his penis into fanny’s.

“I bet your fanny is really nice”, whispered Sebastian.

Vicky felt her fanny, encased in her warm pants, begin to twitch like an epileptic kebab, “It is”, she replied, “and I bet your willy is… so pleasant.”

 “Oooooooooooooooooo”, said Sebastian.

Vicky groaned, “I like it when a penis gets popped into my fanny”.

“I like popping my penis into fanny’s”, said Sebastian.

“Popping penises into fanny’s is so ace”, said Vicky seductively as she felt her heart beat harder.

“Yes, it is,” said Sebastian as he swallowed some bile that had shot up into his mouth.

As Sebastian moved closer, the smell of ammonia grew stronger, and Vicky instinctively held her breath while he wrapped his big, masculine arms around her slim waist.

Then with zero foreplay, Sebastian started popping his throbbing penis into Vicky’s fanny.

After it had now gone in and out several times, they both began to say things such as ‘Yes’ and ‘Urghh’.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” asked Sebastian.

“Yes, it is very enjoyable”, replied Vicky.

“Oooo, nice boobs”, said Sebastian, whose breathing was beginning to quicken.

“Thanks”, replied Vicky whose breath was also beginning to change, “I really enjoy it when you are touching them. I like it”.

Sebastian’s penis popped in and out of Vicky’s fanny repeatedly and in a rhythmic fashion. Vicky began to think how lovely this all was. Vicky quickly realised the benefit of Sebastian’s penis popping in and out of her fanny was that the smell of ammonia was much lower.